Audience of One

Bus safety

While travelling back from London yesterday, the bus driver gave an announcement as we drove off:

Good evening and welcome to the Stagecoach bus service from London to Oxford. This bus is equipped with air conditioning (located above your seats) and mains electricity (located near the bottom of the wall) and extra-large windows (for you to marvel at the M40 through). Refreshments will be served at cafes near to all our bus stops, but are not included in the ticket price. Will you please fasten your seatbelts and store your luggage in the overhead lockers. Emergency exits would be shown by our stewardesses but due to staff cuts it’s just me, and I’m currently driving. The glass, however, breaks easily with the hammers provided – but don’t worry, those of you on the top floor, the air isn’t quite thin enough for this to be a risk. We’re not an aeroplane, you know. We hope you enjoy your trip, and our drive time will be just over an hour. Thankyou for listening, and have a pleasant flight – er, I mean journey.

Imagine what would have happened if we’d crashed before he’d advised us to fasten our seatbelts! That’s right – Stagecoach could have been sued. Or if he’d neglected to mention the emergency exits (the windows) and someone had been trapped. Are we going to have an airline-length safety spiel at the start of every bus journey now, just so they can cover their backs?

Matthew @ 16:52, May 15, 2005 to Miscellaneous | Comments (3)