Audience of One

Rory

You’d never seen a Monty Python film beforehand?!?

You poor boy.

Comment added at 13:14, August 11, 2005

Sheepie

He still hasn’t. “A fish called Wanda” doesn’t count, does it?

Comment added at 13:55, August 11, 2005

Matthew

All right, I haven’t yet watched a Monty Python film – but I’m watching one this evening, so I included it.

Latest editions: handled a murder weapon and received the dole!

Comment added at 15:27, August 11, 2005

.

How come you get the dole?

Comment added at 18:26, August 11, 2005

Cat

What were you allergic to? Not your job I hope :P

Comment added at 21:14, August 11, 2005

Julie B.

You had to quit your job? What’s with the being on the dole thing? Are you not well?

And a murder weapon. Sort of thrilling and horrific all at the same time. Was it animal, vegetable or mineral?

Comment added at 01:53, August 12, 2005

Matthew

Mineral (blood-stained rock). Then there were some rifles that may or may not have been murder weapons – they were already there when I arrived but I had to sign them out to an officer.

I get the dole (or rather, Job Seekers’ Allowance) because I’m looking for work, not actually working. It’s the dole in almost all but name.

And I had to quit my job as I had a bad allergic reaction to the working environment. Seeing as we were getting all kinds of dirty rubbish (and a lot of my time seemed to be spent in one of two incredibly dusty storerooms) my dust allergy played up so much I actually got a fever. My employers and I agreed it was best I didn’t return to work after that episode…

Latest update: I’ve only watched half a Monty Python film.

Comment added at 10:23, August 12, 2005

Julie B.

A rock? That’s pretty horrific.

Sorry about your allergies. I’m hoping you find something else quickly.

So driving is going well, except for that fourth gear at 10 mph thing.

(Oh, and I’m being ignorant here—you don’t use kph, not mph in the UK?)

Comment added at 15:01, August 12, 2005

Matthew

We use mph. Britain is a country of contradictions when it comes to metric and imperial. Metric is slowly becoming the standard in cooking, but my mum for example still thinks in pints, pounds and ounces. Short distances are measured in metres; long distances in miles. It’s insane.

Comment added at 15:10, August 12, 2005

Mr E

I can only really think of people’s weights in stone (in America, don’t you do it in just pounds?) and their heights in feet and inches, although for most other stuff I think in imperial. Of course long distances are in miles. It’s rather mixed up.

I thought kilometres per hour was normally written kmph, though (since the symbol for kilometre is km). I haven’t seen kph before, but acronymfinder.com recognises it

Comment added at 18:37, August 12, 2005

Rory

The dole is confusing. I haven’t yet been on it, but I should…

I feel compelled to compare Matthew’s experiences to my, year-older, ones.

“I’ve stayed up all night without sleeping once” Yup

“I’ve driven above 60mph” Definitely

“I’ve driven on a dual carriageway” Yup

“I’ve received money from the government (the dole)” No, regrettably. I should be, though.

“I’ve gone to work full time (and got paid)” Yes

“I’ve played a gig with a double bass but not a drum kit” No… I don’t play gigs… I’m not that way inclined.

“I’ve handled a murder weapon” Not to my knowledge…

“I’ve had an allergic reaction so bad it gave me an actual fever” No. I’m healthy. Nyah!

“I’ve left a contracted job after less than a month” No

“I’ve had to take a sick day off work” No

“I’ve had to leave a job due to health reasons” Nope

“I’ve ordered over £150 of books at one time” No, but I want to

“I’ve watched half a Monty Python film” Several halfs, hehe.

“I’ve read a book that mentions HTML 1.0 as the “only web standard we can rely on”” I’ve read a blog that says something about it…

“and finally, I’ve stalled a car by going at around 10mph in fourth gear” I don’t think so… I did manage to start a car and pull off in 3rd gear though, which was fun. And do little donuts in the snow. And drive in near-blizzard conditions. And drive over a pavement.

Comment added at 21:43, August 12, 2005

Matthew

Little donuts in the snow? I’ve also driven over the pavement, and have gone from second -> fifth and first -> fourth gears.

Comment added at 11:00, August 13, 2005

Sheepie

Mr E: I think you mean metric. And I’ve only ever seen kph. Also, the abbreviation for miles is mi rather than m, is it not?

Comment added at 11:25, August 13, 2005

Rory

I’ve went from 1st to 5th, but that was deliberate.

Yeah, donuts. Go to http://www.rsportscars.com/eng/video.asp and scroll down until you see the word “donuts”, and download the videa. I did that, but not as big or as cool or as dangerous, and it was on snow (otherwise you’ll wreck your tyres and engine).

Comment added at 15:54, August 13, 2005

Mr E

Yes, I meant metric.

And m and mi are both used for miles I think. Have a look at some motorway signs. Normally it’s just the number but sometimes you get “Welcome Break 2m”. Also there’s mph (not miph). As for kilometres per hour both kph and kmph are acceptable I think, although personally I prefer kmph and I think I have seen it more often. If in doubt you could always write km/h or kmh^–1.

You do know I’m Jonathan, don’t you?

Comment added at 18:09, August 13, 2005

Julie B.

Yes, is America we only use pounds, not stones. I had to break out my calculator when I read Bridget Jones’ Diary.

Yes, I should have used km/h. I only see it when I go to Canada—I knew kph looked wrong but couldn’t remember what was right.

Comment added at 17:27, August 14, 2005

Sheepie

Mr E: yes. But not everyone does so I was making sure everyone knew who I was talking to.

Comment added at 17:54, August 14, 2005

Mr E

Julie, “kph” isn’t wrong. And neither is “kmph”. They’re both acceptable, it seems.

Comment added at 18:41, August 17, 2005