What to do when confronted with a spider
- Check to see what it looks like. If it looks normal, go to 5. If it looks deadly/foreign/extra hairy or has spots on the back, carry on.
- If you have found the spider in a photography shop, proceed normally, otherwise go to 5.
- Take digital camera out of cabinet; slot in memory card; give to the assistant manager so he can photograph the spider.
- Speculate on what could have happened if the spider is, in fact, poisonous.
- Kill spider.
- Print off photos and post online.
Matthew @ 08:05, October 29, 2005 to Diary | Comments (13)
Comments:
sparticus
Submit it to “ask metafilter”, I’m sure they’ll id it for you.
Comment added at 13:27, October 29, 2005
Matthew
It fits exactly to the Wikipedia description of a male black widow…
Comment added at 13:51, October 29, 2005
Cat
Haha once again I am working in a camera shop so I will print that off for future reference. Are you working in #name removed# by any chance, Matt?
Comment added at 19:00, October 29, 2005
Matthew
Yes. But I’ve removed the name because that way I’m freer to write about work here.
Comment added at 19:23, October 29, 2005
Green-eyed Tuna Fish
Hmm, you forgot the ‘scream shrilly and dash out the room, inadvertently dislodging as much furniture as possible in the process.’
Admittedly, not the best of ideas in a camera shop.
Nice photos.
Comment added at 20:45, October 29, 2005
Matthew
Actually, the assistant manager says (I can’t remember) that my initial to response to seeing the spider was “Hey, that’s a nice spider you’ve got there mate.”
Comment added at 20:48, October 29, 2005
Rory
Don’t kill it!
Just take it outside…
You Oxonians are so brutal!
Comment added at 22:44, October 29, 2005
Sheepie
But they thought it might have been poisonous and would go out on a killing spree or something.
Comment added at 11:12, October 30, 2005
Matthew
I think the words were “Blimey, that’s an ugly looking brute. I’d get rid of it if I was you”. Or possibly slightly more heated and coarse alternatives.
I’d also like to see you take it outside, bearing in mind you’re trying to keep it at such a distance that it can’t bite you – if indeed it bites.
(There’s still the possibility that it was poisonous – the spider also fits the description of the female of another type of widow.)
Comment added at 11:48, October 30, 2005
Rory
A newspaper and a glass have never let me down so far…
Comment added at 02:36, October 31, 2005
Matthew
Why are we arguing about killing a spider¿
(And how on earth did I manage to get an upside-down question mark?)
Comment added at 10:37, October 31, 2005
Mr E
I get ¿ by typing alt-shift-?.
Comment added at 00:24, November 1, 2005
Sparticus
APPLE POWER!¡ æ÷≥≤¬……‘““≠––««
Comment added at 11:11, November 2, 2005
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