Audience of One is the weblog of Matthew Weston, a UK student, Christian, technophile and musician.

Ideas of an exhausted invalid

Me: Wouldn’t it be great if you could have the benefits of being ill – reading books and watching TV all day, not having to think about work – without actually having any of the symptoms? All they do is spoil it!

Dad: Yes, Matthew, that’s what’s called a “day off”.

Me: And wouldn’t it be great if you could wrap yourself up warm in a duvet while in the bath? That way you wouldn’t have to worry about the water getting cold!

Mum: Dear, don’t you think you should go to bed?

Me: And that’s another thing! Sleep! Sleep is so good, but wouldn’t it be great if you could sleep while doing something else, like work? That way you could sleep all day while serving customers and be wide awake in the evening!

Parents: Bed! Now!

Matthew @ 10:16, December 1, 2005 to Diary | Comments (17)


Comments:

Owen

Went into a Dixon’s the other day. I was pretty sure he was sleeping while working…

Comment added at 12:23, December 1, 2005

Owen

The guy who served me that is… I wasn’t personifying the store..

Comment added at 12:25, December 1, 2005

Mr E

What time did this conversation take place?

Comment added at 18:02, December 1, 2005

Sheepie

Bedtime.

Comment added at 18:09, December 1, 2005

Salmon

Matthew, you’re just perpetually ill.

I used to wonder how you’d come up with the most bizarre ideas. (There must be a better way of phrasing that.) Now I think I know… Grin

And I was going to say something similar to Owen, but he got there some six hours before me.

Comment added at 18:10, December 1, 2005

Verity

You have the immune system of a little kitten who hasn’t been eating his Iams.

Comment added at 18:24, December 1, 2005

Matthew

Isn’t that for dogs?

Comment added at 19:32, December 1, 2005

Salmon

Apparently, it’s for dogs and cats. Not the same stuff, obviously, but Iams have a range of both dog ‘food’ and cat ‘food’. (Nods)

I’m still getting used to using brackets instead ot the usual asterisks…

Comment added at 20:02, December 1, 2005

Rory

A bath!

With a duvet!

Holy cow Matthew, you’ve stumbled upon the holy grail!

A bath with a duvet that you sleep in whilst doing fun things (like a crossword puzzle or historical reconstruction or something)!!

Comment added at 21:58, December 1, 2005

Matthew

Salmon: Put a \ before the * and it comes out normal. Does no-one read the documentation? :)

Comment added at 19:30, December 3, 2005

Salmon

Hmm, I apparently can’t spell ‘of’. That’s appalling.

Of course not. Partially because I don’t have a clue where it is. Besides, you know me and computers…

But if you give me a link, I’ll study it assiduously. *Coughs*

I hope this works, else I’ll look a real fool… :)

Comment added at 22:34, December 3, 2005

Sheepie

If you look very carefully at the text directly under the “Post a comment:” header…

Comment added at 12:26, December 4, 2005

Matthew

Mm… the text that everyone is supposed to read but no-one does. It also mentions that email addresses are never displayed, ever, so avoiding spam isn’t an excuse (*cough* Owen *cough*) :)

Comment added at 14:10, December 4, 2005

Mr E

To be fair, it isn’t entirely obvious, before you click the link, that it is going to lead anywhere useful. If it actually said “Documentation” or “How to use Markdown” it might be clearer and would certainly catch the eye more.

Comment added at 16:07, December 4, 2005

Matthew

True, true. I noticed that earlier today. I may change it at some point.

Comment added at 16:20, December 4, 2005

Salmon

i.e. in a few decades.

Comment added at 11:34, December 5, 2005

Matthew

You misunderstand me. That’s my way of stopping comments about it until everyone forgets so I can go ahead and do nothing…

Comment added at 12:09, December 5, 2005

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