Audience of One is the weblog of Matthew Weston, a UK student, Christian, technophile and musician.

The sickly one

Well, that was some fun gallivanting. Not only did the lady driving me to the staff conference become ill, but I did as well, meaning that instead of helping with kids I spent the weekend in bed or on the sofa. So, this weekend, I have watched School of Rock for the first time, half of the second series of Yes, Prime Minister and too much rubbish TV. I’ve read half the Foundation series and eaten the same thing for every main meal (quiche).

Sunday evening my parents arrived home, I had a shower and suddenly felt better. The church service was run by my former youth group, and as such contained a good sermon, some good and some appalling music (theologically, not musically – the youth group band are very good), and candles. We sang “Oh Happy Day” to finish, just to have a change from the final traditional hymn.

Anyway, I’m just about recovered now (though I don’t feel as well as I did last night after a chocolate brownie sundae and mocha coffee I had with friends after church) but the article I was going to start this weekend wasn’t. So I’ve written this instead. School of Rock is excellent, incidently.

Currently listening to The Postal Service – Such Great Heights

Matthew @ 13:57, January 23, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (11)

Off gallivanting

This weekend I will be helping with the children of staff members at my parents’ staff conference, so I will be away until Sunday. This is your excuse to post as many offensive comments as you like before my return, as I will not be able to delete them. (Seriously though, don’t.)

In other news, I passed my first theology exam by 4% and have just applied for a full time job somewhere other than the camera shop. Which means I will be able to mention which camera shop, though for UK people it’s reasonably obvious.

I just ate far too much. Remind me in future that eggs and bacon is perfectly adequate as a main course, and not just as a starter for sausages. Hmm. This blog really has ups and downs of seriousness, doesn’t it?

Currently listening to Sufjan Stevens – Detroit, Lift Up Your Weary Head! (Rebuild! Restore! Reconsider!)

Matthew @ 19:25, January 19, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (0)

Driven to distraction

Having written about my decisions with regards to romance a few days ago, it may come as a surprise to some of you (or then again, maybe not) to read this entry. The problem, of course, with saving romance for marriage is that romance doesn’t go away just because you choose not to pursue it. After all, how would you go about choosing a spouse if you didn’t fall in love from time to time?

I made a hint at this in both previous “Sticking to a decision” articles. Sticking to this decision is hard, namely because I’m not immune to attraction – far from it.

This was particularly evident while driving to church on Sunday. Normally I’m a reasonably safe driver, never speeding, waiting for ages before driving out of a junction even though I probably could have gone about three times. My mind was wandering though, and I almost caused three accidents within thirty seconds. I pulled out of a junction in front of a car, who had to slow slightly. I then tried to change lanes without looking and caused another car to slow dramatically and sound his horn. I then approached the roundabout in the wrong lane as a consequence and had to change into the middle lane on the roundabout half way round. I left the roundabout but forgot to indicate and so a car almost drove into my side.

Why did all this happen? Well, I wasn’t concentrating as I was approaching the junction as I was distracted by the girl I was going to see later. That afternoon, out practising with my dad (who seemed to think I needed practice for some reason), I managed to miss various turnings and was unable to park straight, again because I couldn’t concentrate.

I get hit bad occasionally. I always find it odd talking of these emotions in terms of physical violence, but having “fallen” for many different people in my life, I feel the metaphor an appropriate one.

Still, as I wrote in the first article, “Sacrifice is a major part of love. Silence can be more loving than words. Distance can be more fruitful than intimacy”. I would never ask a girl to go out with me until we were both ready to think about something more than dating. I love my female friends too much for that.

Matthew @ 13:45, January 16, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (13)

Blind Spot

When I finally learn how to do roundabouts, I think I’ll throw a party.

Matthew @ 16:21, January 15, 2006 to Miscellaneous | Permalink | Comments (3)

A theological problem

Recently the whole area of theology has become intensely interesting for me. I’ve started reading theological blogs, buying books of systematic theology, doing correspondance courses, trekking across the country to go to conferences and reading more books. It’s fascinating. I love pounding out the issues and figuring out what is actually important, and what is actually true.

It’s come to a stage where I’m more concerned about the theology in itself rather than what it’s all about. The fact is, theology separated from a relationship with God is pointless – what’s the purpose of learning about him if you don’t know him yourself. It’s almost like studying a biography of your best friend without actually talking or listening to them.

I came to the stage recently when I realised that my Christian life wasn’t moving onwards. I’d been learning all these things (reading about the cessationist/continuationist debate, arguments over the end times, expository vs. topical preaching etc.) but actually, it was pointless. I made a big thing in discussions with friends about the importance of good and regular preaching, and then slept rather than go to church the week afterwards. I argued that the Bible doesn’t have the place it should in a lot of Christian meetings, yet have neglected to actually study it myself for months. I would lie and say I’d prayed about a decision, when in reality I’d paused just before making it and had gone ahead merely because my conscience wasn’t loud enough.

My heart was streets behind my head. It’s always a temptation for me – I’m a very head-based person in a lot of ways, so reading and learning theology was the easy route. The difficult route was actually changing my heart. It’s an effort, and I’m doing pretty terribly, but I’ve finally realised that if my heart isn’t keeping up with my head my body will undergo a rather painful form of self-destruction (metaphorically of course).

I’m still reading the theology books, but now I’m (finally) going to read the Bible alongside. It’s a no-brainer really. It’s as if I’d been reading the critical analysis of a Shakespearean play without having read the play itself.

Mark’s gospel this term. Looking forward to it.

Matthew @ 14:30, January 15, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (4)

The fifth miscellany

After the wonderful series that was Musical Education, it’s only after its abject failure that I discover something I like. My thanks to Rory for suggesting Led Zeppelin. Stairway to Heaven is completely overrated, but the other songs are great.

In the long-lived tradition of search terms that have brought up this site, December’s collection includes:

The latter worries me greatly. Granted, however good the click wheel is it won’t ever rival thought control, but I’m sure this would void Apple’s warranty.

My entry on how to cut up pineapple is still doing well with “cut pineapple”, “how to cut up pineapple”, “slice a pineapple”, “cutting pineapple”, “how to cut up a pineapple” and “how to cut a pineapple” all featuring – and Harry Potter fans are still featuring highly with:

Switchfoot’s new album is excellent, and I have one of these, with the other on the way.

After my last fanboyish entry on the MacBook Pro I decided to take a shower, then promptly changed my desktop. And finally, while on the topic of Apple products, Levi’s announce a new product line.

Matthew @ 16:24, January 11, 2006 to Miscellaneous | Permalink | Comments (3)

Perfect timing...

After writing my last entry about leaving romance for the moment, I seem to have rather inconveniently fallen in love.

MacBook Pro

I knew Steve Jobs wouldn’t let me down on yesterday of all days (it being my birthday). (That said, where’s Firewire 800 and the PCMCIA slot?)

Currently listening to Switchfoot – The Blues

Matthew @ 14:03, January 11, 2006 to Geek | Permalink | Comments (7)

Sticking to a decision (part two)

To catch up, read part 1 first.

It’s now almost exactly two years ago that I first decided not to go out with anyone until I’m ready to think about marriage. This is completely antithetical to our culture, but I’ve come to believe that purposeless dating is a distraction from what God really wants me to be doing.

This is a quote from 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verses 32-35:

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

An interesting perspective, don’t you think? Once married, we are less able to devote our attention to the Lord. Of course by caring for a spouse we are doing what God would have us do, but we are freer to serve him in other ways before we’re married.

Of course, as it wasn’t present in their culture, dating isn’t mentioned. However I feel that this passage is relevant when talking about dating.

Paul talks of two types of people: those married, and those single. Those not married are the ones free to devote their time to the Lord. Now, as a single (or indeed as a Christian), I have to ask myself whether investing time and energy in a dating relationship is serving God or a distraction.

I believe that dating someone now would not be serving God, it would only serve to distract me from what I should be doing: focusing completely on living for God and developing my knowledge of and faith in him. I won’t argue this in this article, but abler and wiser people than me have done it already and in part three I will look more at why I believe dating without purpose is not what God wants for singles.

During the past two years I have seen time and time again that any form of exclusive romantic relationship not focused on marriage would just distract me, consume time I could spend on something far more productive, and would not help in any way to prepare me for marriage. Sure, the intimacy would be great, but pursuing intimacy without pursuing marriage can only lead to frustration. Josh Harris says “the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment” and with that I wholeheartedly agree.

Paul says earlier in the chapter that singleness is a gift from God. These past two years not having to worry about romance or dating have been brilliant. I’m an incredible romantic and have found it hard, but it’s been incredibly fulfilling. I look forward to marriage, of course – but I’m not going to waste the time in between looking for temporary intimacy. Singleness is a gift not just for me but for my future wife, and I strongly believe that I’d be doing her a disservice not to use it.

Matthew @ 15:26, January 9, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (7)

Like most rivers, this one is red and made of chairs

Today the nine to eleven year olds at my church (the Trekkers, as they are known) started a series on Joshua, which included various visual aids relating to the Israelites in the desert and the entry into the promised land. There were two particular games that were loosely linked to the theme, but what interested me most about them were the clear differences between the boys and the girls. Actually, let me clarify. It wasn’t interesting that there was a difference, the interesting bit was what the difference was.

We split the Trekkers into boys and girls. The first game involved picking up a load of “camping equipment” (a blanket, a cricket bat, a broom, a pair of boxer shorts, a foam football, a table tennis ball, a pair of walking boots and socks and an empty milk carton) and, one at a time, carrying it to the other side of the room and then back. The winners were the first to have had every member of the team carry the equipment one way (to the end of the room or back). Now the girls wrapped everything in the blanket and used it as a bag, whereas the boys ran as fast as they could, pushing as much as possible with the broom. Eventually, as the girls were about to win, the boys noticed the bag method and copied.

It was the same later, when the task was to make a tent out of the equipment (with the addition of some chairs). The girls immediately stuck the broom up in the middle of four chairs, draped the blanket over the chairs and the broom and tied the blanket to the chairs to keep it there. The boys spent five minutes trying to get the blanket to stay on the chairs, before they noticed the girls’ broom and knots, and copied them. Again, the girls won.

So, what point can I draw from this? Well, I felt it would be far too close-minded to force a point on you, so I’ll allow you to choose your own.

Currently listening to Led Zeppelin – The Battle of Evermore

Matthew @ 14:15, January 8, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (9)

Some photos

Near to the camera shop I work in is the Covered Market. There are butchers, bakers, and possibly even candlestick-makers, as well as chocolate shops, fruit stalls, flower shops, specialist clothes shops, skateboarding shops, jewellery shops and of course Ben’s Cookies. It’s a great place to go in a lunch break to take photos.

Scarves

Blue and Cream flowers

Matthew @ 21:34, January 6, 2006 to Miscellaneous | Permalink | Comments (0)

Musical Education, finally!

It appears to be the tradition of the blogosphere to start series and never finish them, so to buck the trend I thought I’d actually get around to finishing one of the series I started recently.

The premise was to invite my readers to recommend music that I would rent from the library and review here. The first CD I chose to do this with was The Cure’s Greatest Hits. So here we go.

The Cure are a talented bunch, it seems, but there was nothing that really drew me in to their music. I enjoyed almost every song; I thought they were clever musically and sometimes lyrically, but it didn’t have anything special to attract me. Musical tastes vary, and I guess it wasn’t quite the kind of thing I liked.

All this said, maybe I’d have got into it more if I’d listened more. Maybe I’d have enjoyed one of their proper albums more. I’m not so sure though, as I did actually listen to it constantly for about three or four weeks.

So that is that. Not such an auspicious start to the series, seeing as it was designed for me to discover new bands that I hadn’t got into before. I tried again, though, and rented Since I Left You by the Avalanches.

Unfortunately for me and this series, I was highly disappointed by this album. I remembered the single “Frontier Psychaitrist”, which is a hilarious song about a criminally insane child (and contains such wonders as parrot imitations and crazy horse sounds). The problem was that I didn’t enjoy the song half as much as I’d remembered enjoying it – I thought it amusing but repetitive. The rest of the album I never finished listening to. I got to about track five before my parents complained of the noise and I switched off, bored anyway.

So, here’s my latest idea. Give me suggestions, and I’ll see if I like anything. I might even post reviews of my favourites. But I think committing to listening to things will be mainly a waste of time.

Incidently, I’ve just discovered that Belle & Sebastian and lostprophets are quite good.

Currently listening to Belle & Sebastian – If She Wants Me

Matthew @ 15:06, January 5, 2006 to Miscellaneous | Permalink | Comments (3)

As seen on TV

When I arrived at the camera shop, the assistant manager was away on holiday, having just recently been promoted. The manager was a nice guy called Chris (short for Christopher) and knew everything about photography. Any question a customer had that I didn’t know the answer to, he did (and he answered all my questions too).

Shortly afterwards, he had an affair with one of his employees, who promptly left the shop. A week later, Chris left the company without serving his notice, and the employee returned. This was just as the assistant manager returned from holiday. Having just been promoted to assistant manager, he was forced to become the manager for two months before we found a new manager.

The new manager arrived, fresh from a non-photographic part of the retail industry.

Manager: (looking up at digital cameras) Who’d pay more than two hundred pounds for a camera?

Me: (taking him round the corner to our digital SLRs) Oh, lots of people…

Manager: You have got to be kidding me.

Our new manager is also called Chris, short for Cristobal. This has led to amusing conversations with customers.

Customer: Hi, is Chris about?

Me: Do you mean Old Chris or New Chris?

Customer: Well, he was quite young, but I wouldn’t call him new exactly…

New Chris has been a good manager, but it’s lucky that the assistant manager is also a photographic genius or I’d be up a gum tree half the time. The only problem is, with days off currently arranged as they are, there could well be occasions when I, of four months proper photographic experience, am the resident expert.

Recently, a colleague at the second camera shop in the city was sacked for, as far as I could tell, no apparent reason. (He had always been the most helpful member of staff whenever I’d gone in there, and was sacked due to “looking after his staff more than his customers”. He was the assistant manager, making that his job.) One of my colleagues at my store resigned in protest. Two days later she realised she needed the money and didn’t have another job. She asked to withdraw her resignation, and was refused as it emerged that she’d been abusing her position as a keyholder and had let civilians into the office (where there are many cameras, none of them CCTV) after hours. As a two-thousand pound camera has recently been stolen (but then found again in an extremely unlikely place), the security tapes were checked, and she was seen entering the store with friends at eight in the evening. When asked about it, she lied.

In a couple of weeks time, a security guy is coming from head office to investigate the theft. Until then, we have to search each others bags every evening. As I recently discovered another work perk (that of staff loans of stock), a search of my bag recently uncovered a five hundred pound lens by a colleague who didn’t know about this system.

Colleague: Hey, Chris, Matthew’s trying to steal a lens!

Chris: No, that’s okay, I’m letting him bor—

Colleague: You’re letting him steal a lens?! <pause> Can I have one?

And just to round off, a conversation with a customer:

Me: What type of computer do you have?

Customer: A Mac.

Me: Do you have OS X?

Customer: Excuse me? (Sniggers are heard from my colleagues.)

Me: Do you have OS X?

Customer: Oh… yes, I do.

Later on, I discovered that everyone listening to that conversation, including the customer, was sure that I had asked him “Do you have, er, sex?” There is a technical writer inside Apple’s headquarters guffawing away right now at the adoption of roman numerals for Apple’s latest operating system series….

Matthew @ 12:22, January 5, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (6)

You know you're not blogging regularly enough when...

The list of “recently visited sites” that has always included the blog control panel, doesn’t.

Matthew @ 09:17, January 4, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (10)