Audience of One

The first camp

After the delights of the Partnership Summer School, I headed off to another camp, this time as a Taskforce member. Taskforcers are basically the cleaners, but we also ran games, got snacks and drinks for people in the afternoon, served and cleared tables at meals and basically helped the camp to run smoothly.

It seems a strange thing to give up eleven days of your life to do, so let me briefly explain why I did it:

1. The Taskforcers get their own teaching track (this year looking at heaven and hell, then studying the book of Haggai) which I remembered being excellent when I sneaked in the back as a normal member.
2. The Taskforcers, as a bunch of people, are lovely.
3. I got to organise a game of Ultimate
4. By doing these things, I allowed the leaders to spend more time with the guys they were teaching.
5. I got to serve.

Obviously what I mean by service is doing something for someone else*. Like Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, Christians are called to serve others, like Jesus did. These last two points are linked – it was by serving that I allowed the leaders to spend their time teaching and chatting with the people in their dorms. But it was to serve that I went to camp.

Two things. Firstly, there’s a philosophical argument to do with self-sacrificial service. Altruism (defined as unselfish concern for the welfare of others, or self-sacrificial service), it is argued, can never be truly unselfish, as there is always a good feeling that arises from doing something for someone else. For example, you help an old lady to cross the road (quick tangent: has anyone ever seen anyone do this ever, and do old ladies actually want help? Any more than old men? That’s a discussion for another time) partly because it feels good to be helping her. Your motivation is not entirely unselfish.

Well, at first glance it seems like this is true. I look back on my time at this camp, and while it was hard work it was also a fantastic experience and I felt good about it. However, the issue is to do with motivation. The fact was, I didn’t know whether I was going to enjoy the week. In fact, at times I really didn’t (like when the dishwasher broke down for the third time, just as I was looking forward to an evening off).

There’s a distinct temporal dimension to altruism. In other words, at the time there is no positive emotional feedback. You don’t grudgingly wash a hundred and fifty plates, knives, forks, spoons, cups and bowls by hand because you’re waiting for the emotional payoff – no, you do it because you are there to serve, and so serve you do. I can now look back on it and say that I’m pleased I did it, but not because it felt good. In fact, I was not particularly happy at the time, but while I could have sneaked off to my room without anyone noticing, I chose not to. Altruism: it does exist, and Christians should aspire to it. (Actually, all you need to do is look at Jesus on the cross to show that altruism exists – the main thing that needs proving is that imperfect humans can be altruistic.)

The previous three paragraphs were adapted from a discussion I had with a friend studying philosophy – in fact, it’s his argument not mine, and the “distinct temporal dimension” phrase was nicked too. Anyway…

Secondly, I don’t write this to make myself seem great and self-sacrificial and to make everyone else feel bad. I’m merely trying to explain the logic in my decision to go there. Christians should be those who serve. It’s this area that I’ve never been so good on. Sometimes people talk about growth in the Christian life as if it’s just one thing, but there are many different areas to be growing in. A knowledge of God’s word, and therefore the character and purposes of God, is one area. It is entirely possible to be growing in this area and not actually having a closer relationship with God, though. There’s growth in obedience of what the Bible says as well. But one of the things which is missing in a lot of churches is love expressed through service. It’s been missing in me too for a long time, and still has a long way to grow. While my “head knowledge” is often streets ahead of my contemporaries my “heart knowledge” or actions lag a long way behind. This year (beginning with my time in Japan) was an attempt to do something about this. (And for all that discussion about altruism, I can safely say I’m loving it.)

* I was going to have something here about “Some people think of service as part of a game of tennis” etc. etc., until I realised that my brain was functioning on a ten-year-old humour level and that this wasn’t actually funny. Working with kids – who’d do it?

Matthew @ 15:40, August 29, 2006 to Diary | Comments (0)