Audience of One is the weblog of Matthew Weston, a UK student, Christian, technophile and musician.
Well, I’m off to uni on Saturday, and for this term I’ve decided to give blogging a rest as I settle in. I may occasionally write stuff, but I probably won’t until December. Have a good couple of months everyone!
Currently listening to Frou Frou – Let Go.
Matthew @ 18:00, September 25, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (11)
Obviously the generic “Have a nice day” became too generic – on cancelling my Lovefilm account due to the expiry of the free trial, I was instructed to “Have a wonderful day”. Much as I’d love to, I was just about to head outside with my camera to capture the fresh smells and sights (or maybe just sights) of the post-rain landscape, when the rain decided to return with force. At least the sound of raindrops is relaxing.
Matthew @ 11:16, September 14, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (0)
No very interesting search terms at the moment, the only one of note being “tales of the emerald sword saga download”, which found this site goodness knows how. The new iTunes has two blue quavers in its icon rather than two green ones, a change that appears to have absolutely no reason other than someone at Apple was bored with green. In a fit of insanity, I wrote three parallel (very) short stories on a jungle exploration gone wrong, wasting a good hour and producing extreme worry about my mental health as the stories, seemingly under an external influence, wrote themselves into a rather disturbing ending. I’m thoroughly enjoying my holiday when I can, but seem to have got myself into far more work than I expected to – I’m now leading a Bible study on Monday, the only stipulation being that it be “something from the Old Testament that can encourage everyone as they go off to university”. Right. I have, however, managed to watch about ten episodes of the wonderful drama House, after putting the free trial period of Lovefilm to good use. Another twelve to go, then. I also saw Howl’s Moving Castle, a Studio Ghibli film that I hadn’t yet seen – which was excellent. I’ve performed in a concert, in which I played the piece of music badly, but apparently was able to cover my mistakes well enough for about five people to approach me afterwards to tell me I’d been excellent. Always nice. Maybe next time I write one of these I’ll put in some paragraphs.
Currently listening to Radiohead – True Love Waits.
Matthew @ 18:29, September 13, 2006 to Miscellaneous | Permalink | Comments (0)
I was going to post something along the lines of “Anyone else really dislike the new iTunes?”, but it turns out someone does. That said, gapless playback! For months Dark Side of the Moon* has had irritating pauses where there should have been smooth transitions. I wonder if the iPods now have it – might make getting one of nanos even more tempting. Those colours, though. I was pleased to see the back of the minis for that very reason.
* Amongst other albums, but that’s the first I can think of.
Matthew @ 11:35, September 13, 2006 to Geek | Permalink | Comments (11)
Today, on the hottest day we’ve had since July, on a day of a ridiculously high pollen count, on the day I forgot to take my hayfever medication… I went to a garden centre.
It’s quite a large place, and every time I go there they seem to change the layout so that I can never, ever find my way around. We were looking for manure, which was over on the other side of the centre. Then on the way back, I noticed they had a load of fish in a building to my right.
By this time, my eyes were reasonably sore and a tissue was almost permanently held to my nose, so a break from the pollenated air in the cool confines of the water feature section was just what I needed. So I went to have a look at the fish.
They had a load of Japanese fish for sale. “Japanese Doitsu-Koi” said a sign next to one of the aquariums. “Doitsu-Koi” translates as “German carp”, making the sign read “Japanese German carp”. You know all those t-shirts and things we sometimes see with incredibly bad English? Yeah, the reverse can also work. I still remember the story of the man with a tattoo of a Chinese character he thought said “strength” which in actual fact meant “broccoli”. Also, it’s spelt “Doitsu-goi”, but never mind.
So, after a couple of minutes looking at fish, I wound my way through corridors of plants and shrubs, looking for the exit. I could feel the hayfever symptoms increase as I did so… and then, somehow, I couldn’t find the exit. I kept on turning corners and coming into walls of evil-looking orchids bent on poisoning me with their pollen. It’s the kind of thing that, if I had nightmares, would probably be a regular occurrence in the summer. No exit, only flowers and more flowers, hemming me in….
(In all honesty I found the exit within thirty seconds, but has exaggeration ever been unusual on this website?)
Currently listening to The Decemberists – Eli, The Barrow Boy.
Matthew @ 16:25, September 11, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (0)
Don’t ever volunteer to play a solo piece at a recital evening in three days time when you have a thousand and one other things to do and haven’t actually played the piece in question for a year or so. “I’m sure I’ll pick it up quickly” is a false hope, implanted in your brain by a desire to help out the girl organising the recital who had a pianist cancel at the last minute.
On a similar note, don’t ever volunteer to play a solo piece at a recital evening when you haven’t even thought of something to play. “I’m sure there’s something I can do” is, again, probably a false hope and in fact all the things you can play well (Happy Birthday, I Can See Clearly Now, that song off the Beetle advert) aren’t suitable, especially as they require you to sing, and the rest of the recital evening includes people who are actually singers.
One final thing: don’t ever volunteer to play at a fundraising recital evening when you can’t actually afford to buy a ticket.
Matthew @ 15:07, September 10, 2006 to Advice | Permalink | Comments (0)
Having a read of past entries on this subject reminded me of something once said in an email to me:
You seem to be using the same argument for each point, namely that democracy is desirable above everything else
So, the question is… is it? Or are there things that are more important in government?
I think one thing I’ve learnt in recent months is that I haven’t got quite the grasp on politics I thought I had. In other words, I haven’t the first idea, and don’t really have the time to think about it quite yet. Interesting idea, though.
In other news, being out of the country for almost three months removed almost any interest I have in day-to-day politics, especially with the Labour party in-fighting currently in the headlines. I thought a year or so ago that I’d never survive at uni without a newspaper in the morning. Turns out I don’t always read it at the moment, even though we have one in the house…
Currently listening to Death Cab For Cutie – I Will Follow You Into The Dark.
Matthew @ 15:36, September 9, 2006 to Politics | Permalink | Comments (3)
Today the paper came with a section entitled “How to go to university without going broke”. Interested to read of a subject that has been on my mind lately (apparently if I try and live off my student loan I’ll have around ten pounds a month left over after rent), I flicked through, hoping for something useful.
Apparently the biggest tip they had was to find a bank account with a big overdraft and find a good student credit card. I guess the old idiom “in for a penny, in for a pound” must apply to debt, too.
Currently listening to Radiohead – Bullet Proof… I Wish I Was.
Matthew @ 14:08, September 9, 2006 to Miscellaneous | Permalink | Comments (2)
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone… in other words, when you have nothing to do all day and none of your friends are around, either due to school, work, holiday, geography or a mixture of the above, you’re tired and just need to relax because you haven’t had a proper holiday for months, and you go to the library to get something new to read, DON’T pick a book half-written in pseudo-Russian slang that is actually a philosophical treatise on the importance of free will, or indeed another book that discusses the absurdity of authority through a war narrative – in other words, two books that propose philosophical concepts that go against Scripture. Philosophy and tiredness don’t mix. (Chemistry and tiredness may well do, but that’s another matter.)
Currently listening to Eels – Going To Your Funeral [Part I]
Matthew @ 11:30, September 8, 2006 to Advice | Permalink | Comments (5)
There’s a slight problem in writing about this camp, in that I can’t write anything that might be indentifiable. In other words, I can’t say anything that might lead to anyone realising who these people are, where we were, etc. etc..
Therefore, I present to you the highlights of my diary of the week:
The camp begins with a change of plan: I’m with the youngest boys rather than the older ones. The main memory I have of working with this age group is of a chemistry class I helped with last year:
Kid: What’s this?
Me (quickly figuring out what’s gone into the test tube previously): Oh, that’s a kind of weak bleach.
Kid: Cool! (Throws bleach across table at me.)
What fun.
This day is themed on the Stone Age. This conversation took place at breakfast:
Dorm member: Hmm, I need some Stone Age clothes… (to Fellow Leader) hey, can I borrow some of yours?
…I think the first time I really noticed there was such a concept as “style”, I hated the mere thought. I mellowed, but I was at least fifteen before I really started to care a bit. That said, these guys’ concept of style seems focussed around non-sleeved basketball tops, silver necklaces and hair gel.
I’m still recovering from my previous camp, so ask for a bit of time off in the afternoon while all the kids go off site to various activities. The morning passes in a slight haze – I get to sing African music (the person leading doesn’t know any more specifically, but I guess probably central to south) with no Western time signature, leading to great fun teaching the rhythms to non-jazz-trained ears.
Due to tiredness I forget most of what we talk about at lunch, and as the kids go off site I end up lying on two beanbags in the leaders’ room while the designated on site leaders watch Narnia (ostensibly looking for talk illustrations). I fall asleep soon afterwards.
The evening meeting has the theme of “Judgement”, lead by my Fellow Leader. It’s not an easy subject. We all deserve death, and we all deserve separation from God. Why? When Adam sinned, all sinned.
Not easy, really, but the evidence stacks up. There is no-one in the world whom you can look at and say “this person has never sinned”. The idea of original sin (Romans 5:12) makes complete sense of this. It’s hard to accept, though, because we all think we’re okay. In the sermon I gave in Japan I talked about how important the concept of spiritual death is in evangelism. Without an understanding of the depths of depravity (we use simpler words with the kids), the death of Jesus means nothing.
We all need to accept that we are sinful and in need of rescue. It’s something that only God can show to us; not something we can logically deduce, because it’s completely against our nature to admit it. God has to change our hearts to reveal this to us. As a result, we’re praying loads for the kids. One in particular hates the idea. He keeps on talking about “rescue”, but his idea of rescue is God helping him out in every day life – rescue from bad results, bullies and things like that. He has no concept of a far greater rescue that’s needed, or indeed Jesus’ promise that the world will hate those who love him, and that persecution is part of being a Christian.
The afternoon heralds activities in the pedestrianised shopping centre of nearby city. Half the leaders dress up in funny costumes (gorilla suit, leopard skin and top hat, sackcloth etc.) and wander round the streets while the members look for them in dormitory groups. I’m responsible for my dormitory, as Fellow Leader is off wearing the leopard skin somewhere.
Somehow, as the coach arrives to take us to our destination, all the boys manage to sit at the back together. Cue coach ride of football chants and irritating repetitive songs (“Hail to the bus driver”, various “songs” insulting various football teams, World Cup/European Cup chants that are so old I remember people singing them when I was nine, and “I’ve got a song that will get on your nerves”, that ironically got on the singers nerves so they stopped singing after a couple of verses). Half way there, the girls decided to fight back by singing “Old MacDonald had a farm”, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and “Do Re Me” amongst others. The boys laughed at the girls when they heard Old MacDonald, then later realised they’d run out of songs and started singing it themselves.
Once in the city, we start work trying to find the various leaders. Each leader has a token we have to collect, but in order to collect it we have to complete an activity. We discover Fellow Leader in his leopard skin almost straight away, so he runs away, weaving in and out of the shoppers to get away. I then have to not only keep up with the boys without bumping into shoppers myself, but also make sure that they don’t send anyone flying.
Our first task is to act out a scene from history. Luckily, we’d caught Fellow Leader on a side street, so our enactment of the parting of the Red Sea doesn’t get in the way of shoppers. We do, however, have to pause and wait for a car to go past.
One of the tasks set for us by Mrs Supremo (the wife of Mr Supremo, who runs the camp) was, using only questions with yes/no answers, find out who the Bible character she was thinking of was.
The answer was Goliath, but for some reason it took us absolutely ages to come up with him. I’d asked “Was the character around before the time of David?” to which the answer was “yes”, as technically he was. However this threw me and so all my questions were to do with Abraham, Moses, Joshua etc.
One of the other activities was to sing part of a Christian song with actions. Our dorm chose “Lord I lift your name on high”:
Boys: “You came from heaven to earth, to show the way;
From the earth to the cross, my debt to pay;
From the cross to the grave,
From the grave to the sky,
Lord I lift your name on high.”
The shoppers got a gospel message from a bunch of kids who possibly don’t even believe it themselves. Impressive.
(In which I run out of diary-writing time at camp and have to summarise massively.)
Day Five includes an interview with the Bible (portrayed by Fellow Leader in black clothes with black face paint, and “Holy Bible” written across his t-shirt in silver ink). I hear the following comment from a twelve-year-old girl afterwards:
I think the Bible is my favourite superhero.
Day Six includes the following statement in our dorm Bible study from one of the kids:
Jesus died for everyone. Well, he died for those who believe, anyway.
He’s eleven years old, and already he’s decided he’s a Calvinist.
Day Seven found me up front, giving a book review of a book I’d bought when a member of this camp six years ago (Mr Supremo was my dorm leader at the time). Unfortunately I had no party trick to do for the group (as was required of all interviewees/book reviewers), so was asked to gargle “Bob the Builder” instead, along with a fellow reviewer. When she (being South African) asked how the tune went, the entire camp erupted into song. Apparently there are actual verses – I never knew. Luckily I didn’t have to gargle them.
Later in the evening was the entertainment. I performed (with various people) the African songs I’d learnt earlier in the week. I also took part in the ancient game of “Topple”, which involves squatting on the ground in a ring and using palms only to knock the opponent out of the ring. (I got off lightly. Mrs Supremo and another female leader had to “sock wrestle” – in other words, attempt to get the others’ sock off before she gets your sock off you.)
Day Eight brought with it the camp photo, farewells, and the journey home. Hopefully the kids have learnt something.
Matthew @ 20:40, September 7, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (2)
Join TalkTalk and get free broadband. Please drive slowly. Units for sale/rent. 2go Sandwiches and Coffee. Book online. Summer’s here. Flash: Britain’s cleaner. Local police, local knowledge. Stores across London. New office development. Baldwins Crane Hire. Site Access. New road layout ahead. No stopping at any time. Give way. Sold subject to contract. Controlled zone. Hardwood Finishing Specialists. Dental Surgery. Sevenways Newsagents. A Mars a day. Daily Mail on sale here. Made to Measure Blinds. Open Every Day. Free Delivery. Coca Cola. Phoenix High School. Weak bridge 2 miles ahead. No animals on A40. Unigate Dairies.
Reading signs out of the window was so much more interesting in Japan.
Currently listening to Radiohead – Life In A Glass House.
Matthew @ 14:41, September 5, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (0)
Following discussion about where exactly the North begins, I remembered a conversation I once had with an American.
American: So where is Oxford then?
Me: It’s just south of the Midlands.
American: Hah! The Midlands. That always makes me laugh. You Brits can never decide on where the Midlands actually are.
Me: Well, at least they’re actually where their name implies.
Matthew @ 14:37, September 2, 2006 to Miscellaneous | Permalink | Comments (0)
Currently listening to The Guillemots – Made-Up Lovesong #43
Matthew @ 14:36, September 1, 2006 to Diary | Permalink | Comments (9)
