A fine line

Posted at 2:30 PM

There’s a fine line between spilling your heart out to someone and keeping silent.

That’s not to say that there isn’t an in-between level where you can tell someone something but not the whole story; more that when it comes to telling someone something there can often be a fine line between not telling them anything and telling them everything. Does that make sense?

The issue is complicated when the audience is unknown. In the past I was extremely candid on my blog – I said pretty much everything I was thinking some of the time, and it all came out in a boring, angsty kind of way that served as catharsis to me and a waste of time to everyone else.

When I started this site, I knew it was going to be different. Firstly, it wouldn’t be just a “diary” as such. My last blog started off as one (though not quite to the “this morning I ate three Weetabix and a fried banana” level of detail) and wasn’t particularly interesting to the wider audience. Secondly, it wasn’t going to go completely the route of the pundit blog. It was going to be a mix.

Part of the mix was supposed to be this: as a Christian, I would write about things that challenge me as a Christian.

Of course, I can’t do this completely candidly. And here lies the problem. There appears to be a fine line between saying nothing (and not writing about these kind of things) and saying absolutely everything (obviously not ideal for me).

This is slightly different to what I was saying earlier, in that I could only explain pieces and not the whole thing. I don’t necessarily have to go the whole way. But I find it hard, once I start writing, to stop. I find it hard to know exactly how much I should say before I’ve said too much. I like opening up, and on a medium where you don’t get an immediate response from the readers (unlike telling someone in person) you can be tempted to write a lot of things you could well later regret writing.

This may not make much sense. I’m not sure. What I’m trying to say is that I’m still going to try and write about the challenges I face. I’ve just discovered that it’s going to be harder than I’d imagined.

(For those of you who can’t quite tie what I was saying in generalisations at the beginning with what I’m saying in specifics at the end, well done – you’ve discovered that they’re not completely linked and that the first two paragraphs are actually about something completely different…)

I don’t watch much TV, but…

Posted at 2:29 PM

Saturday night brought the new series of Doctor Who to the BBC, a program that I never really got into when it was on before seeing as I hadn’t been born yet, but nevertheless had heard all about from my mum (who had been addicted as a child). I really enjoyed it but quickly realised you couldn’t take it too seriously. Best one-liner? The Doctor, while speed-reading Rose’s Hello magazine, says: “Oh, that won’t work out – he’s gay and she’s an alien”. I look forward to the next episode.

This evening the new series of Hustle starts, just when I was getting impatient waiting for the DVD of Series One to come out. Last time Hustle was on it invaded my dreams regularly (the most amusing one being when I dreamt I was conning people into believing I was a gay accountant…), so I know what to expect this time. I’ve been watching Jamie Oliver’s School Dinners recently as well, and almost woke up late this morning because I had to stay in the dream until my potatoes were fully roasted. As long as I don’t end up dreaming of animated shop dummies I’ll be happy.

The answer

Posted at 8:43 PM

…and a day later than I’d planned on revealing the answer to when this passage was written (which Verity rightly guessed), I’ll let everyone know that it was before the birth of Jesus, in fact 700-odd years before (thanks John). I’ve been a Christian for quite some time, and I’ve known all about Old Testament prophecy predicting Jesus’ life and death but I didn’t realise quite how obvious it really was. I suppose seeing as Jesus says it’s obvious I ought to have realised.

Happy Easter everyone!

Rhinoceros

Posted at 10:21 AM

A local theatre group recently put on a performance of the play Rhinoceros, which looked highly amusing when I read about it a few months ago so I decided to go and see it. Then I forgot about it because of the pressure of coursework, until I discovered two weeks ago that Xanna was in it. By this time I almost didn’t have the money, so while I emerged broke from the performance, I didn’t mind.

The play is about a town where, as the story progresses, more and more people develop ‘rhinoceritis’ and turn into rhinoceroses. The first time I said this to someone, they thought this was some kind of ridiculous kids’ play. Far from it. One reading of the play (the most obvious I’d think) is that rhinoceritis symbolises conformity – as more and more people become rhinos, the greater the urge is for others to follow and conform. The main character, Beringer, resists until the end, and in the production I saw it’s left ambiguous whether he turns into a rhino himself or not. It’s a very clever metaphor though.

One of the things I loved about this production was that the actors playing particular roles swapped throughout the play. For example, the four people it turned out I knew in the production (another SAYGO friend Jo as well as two others I recognised) played Beringer at some point, as well as quite a few other characters. The costumes they all wore made this work perfectly, and there was only one point when I was confused as to who was who (and figured it out as soon as this particular Beringer spoke). The rhino costumes were also great, and you had an opportunity to enter a draw to win a set of rhino horns, feet and tail. (I’d have so entered if I’d had a pen…)

Another thing I loved about this production was the way that, even before people turned into rhinoceroses there was a clear sense of them being part of a crowd, with no individuality. The whole cast would get together on stage as a rhinoceros passed by (portrayed by grunting and snorting through the speakers) and point – as a group – at it running past. They’d then immediately (as the lights changed) come together and become a single rhinoceros themselves, drawing parallels between the group and the conformity of the rhinoceros.

Recently I’ve been noticing more and more things in films and TV programmes that could be used as visual aids in talks. It’s a pity they didn’t film it – I’d have bought a copy and used it in the future :)

Good Friday

Posted at 7:28 PM

I have a question for everyone. When was this following passage written?

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

Was this written before or after Jesus? How long before/after? (And anyone who says parts of it were written by Handel has a good knowledge of music but a poor knowledge of Handel himself :).)

My friend Martin

Posted at 6:51 PM

With apologies for continuously writing about my friends, I bring you word of Martin Halstead, a former member of my tribe (read “church small group”). To quote from the article:

His feet are on the ground but his ambition is sky high. Our correspondent meets Martin Halstead, the entrepreneur who has just launched Britain’s latest passenger airline… at the of age of 18.

And a bit later on:

So this week, while Jamie proved that 29-year-old chefs know more about kids’ nutrition than the nanny state, an 18-year-old called Martin Halstead launched an airline. From April 18 there will be two flights a day between Oxford and Cambridge, which, as academics and business people know, happen to be only 65 miles (105km) apart, but are separated by 118 miles of road and an even sillier train journey that goes through London. So for £49 a journey that takes between two-and-a-half and four hours will be possible in 18 minutes’ flying time, or 70 minutes when you add in a free shuttle service that deposits passengers in the city centres.

Congratulations Martin! Finally, the secret project that everyone seems to have known about has emerged. It’s been reported by the BBC, the Telegraph and the Times, and now this blog. Good on ya, mate. Now, if I want to visit Cambridge do I get mates’ rates?

Don’t ever be a sound technician

Posted at 2:24 PM

Maybe the training process of all jobs as tiring, often boring and mostly nothing like the real experience of doing the job. Hopefully this is the case with being a recording technician as I spent about three hours in the studio yesterday recording a drum kit and double bass. It looks simple. Set up the microphones, make sure they don’t distort when you play them loudly, and press record. It’s not.

From my rather stressful session yesterday, I’ve learnt quite a lot, and hopefully in the future recording will get easier and easier. It’d better – I plan to do a lot of it at university. There was just problem after problem yesterday. The headphone levels were too loud; then they were too quiet; then the balance was wrong. Finally we got it about right, except that the level in the studio was appalling as a result and so I couldn’t play in time. Then I hurt my hand and couldn’t play any more – I spent the rest of the evening calling out section changes into a tiny talkback mic.

Then it was done! Or rather, we all came into the studio having done the first full take without technical problems, only to find we’d had musical problems. So we did it again. And again.

Finally, we got a take that was good. I’ll see when I come back to it next whether it was any good, or just our music-saturated ears and fatigued bodies telling us we wanted to go home. So home we did – via Charlie’s house to give him back the snare drum we’d borrowed. I got home from school at around twenty past seven, my almost full day of lessons having ended over four hours before.

Then I had to get up this morning to tidy the studio before anyone else needed to use it.

You can see why I might be slightly pessimistic about a sound technician’s life. I think doing it with your own equipment without a deadline looming and an arrangement you haven’t just made up the day previously might help though.

DJ PJ needs your help!

Posted at 7:50 PM

…I say this, but he doesn’t necessarily need your help specifically. My friend Pete, until recently regular DJ of Sheffield University student radio (it’s now the holidays so he’s taking a break) is asking around for ideas for a new radio show “gimmick” (my word, not his – I can’t think of anything else to call it). This is your chance! Can you rival the formidable “Living La Lyrics Loca” (in which Pete and co-host Adam have to guess famous songs by their lyrics)? Will your radio show idea be used by DJ PJ himself? (I didn’t mean to start calling him this but after Xanna coined it it kind of stuck…) Any ideas posted in the comments will make their way to Pete himself, with full credit for the idea attached of course. Any royalities (minus my fee) will be sure to come your way, if Sure Radio ever makes any money…

C is for Christian

Posted at 10:14 PM

It’s an obvious choice for the letter C, but I’ve already written about what I believe elsewhere on this site. To do something different, this entry will have to take a different slant, so I thought I’d go into more detail about what Christians are and what Christians aren’t.

Firstly, being British doesn’t make you a Christian. People claim that the UK is a Christian country, and so if you’re British you’re nominally Christian. It’s a load of rubbish. A lot of emphasis is placed in the Bible on it being an individual’s choice to become a Christian. To be a Christian you must accept that you’ve messed up and that Christ’s death for you cleanses you from all wrongdoing, then commit your life to him. Those who haven’t done all of the above cannot rightly call themselves Christians.

Secondly, Christians are not homophobic, sexist or warmongers. You will get those who call themselves Christians (and may well be – only God knows what’s in their hearts) who are homophobic, or violent, or misogynistic, or many terrible things. They might even claim that it comes from their faith. They are wrong. The Bible is clear that we should love one another (which includes homosexuals); it’s clear that we should not be violent (and I won’t get into the just war debate); it’s also clear that everyone is equal (Gal 3:28). This doesn’t mean that it’s okay to be a practising homosexual (just as it’s not okay to be a practising adulterer), or that men and women have exactly the same roles (it’s clear from the Bible we were created to complement each other rather than mimic each other), but that showing any kind of hatred, dislike or differing attitude based on gender or sexual orientation is unbiblical and hence not Christian.

Thirdly, Christians are sinners. A common misconception (and one unfortunately reinforced by Christians) is that Christians are all perfect and we look down on those who aren’t. This is also unbiblical: we’re reminded frequently in the Bible that we are all sinners. Christians are just as likely to sin as others, but often the Christians are the ones noticeably doing something about it – hence the misconceptions.

Finally, Christians are divided. There are many different denominations, none of which I feel I belong to. Different denominations often have different styles of meetings, difference emphases on different things and are sometimes plain wrong. Then within the denominations you have different groups again, such as the traditionalists, evangelicals or liberals. It gets confusing, but you often can’t assume that people are true Christians, even if they go to church (or lead a church). Some whole churches can be completely dead. Often churches are filled with non-Christians who just don’t understand what it means to be a Christian and so think they are one.

I’m a Christian. I’m not homophobic, sexist or violent, but I am a sinner – I mess up all the time. I’m a Christian because I choose to be, not because I was born that way. (I’m also a Christian because God chose me to be, but that’s another matter.) I’m not a Baptist, an Anglican or a Methodist. I’m a Christian.

The Acid2 Test

Posted at 5:11 PM

Hakon Lie, the CTO of Opera Software ASA, has just posted an article about a test suite (Acid2) to ensure that Microsoft’s IE7 meets the CSS 2.1 standard.

Let’s hope it’s effective.