Three As

Posted at 7:07 PM

So general studies doesn’t count – but I got back the results of a remark today, and my B grade in music was a mistake. Two proper As and a B – but if I don’t mention it’s general studies that’s three As!

Currently listening to Happy Christmas, War is Over – George and Antony

You know the world’s gone crazy when…

Posted at 2:14 PM

To buy two frisbees, it is cheaper shipping from America rather than from the UK. (The only downside is I lose Green Points™ for unnecessary air miles.)

S is for Spontaneous

Posted at 2:46 PM

Events often take a lot of planning. Making sure people are able to come well in advance so everyone you’re inviting can make it. Deciding on a menu in advance so you can be sure you have the right ingredients and know how to make it. Organising a guest list so that you have a variety of different people whose personalities complement rather than clash.

So when I decided one afternoon that I was going to have a dinner party the next evening, I had many things to think about at very short notice. This is what comes of being spontaneous.

The process of thought goes something like this:

1. Realise it’d be nice to do something at some point (like have some friends round for a meal).
2. Realise that there’s almost nothing stopping me from doing it quite soon (like having the meal in the next week).
3. Decide to do it (it’s tomorrow!).
4. Realise, once it’s too late, that spontaneity creates quite a few problems. (Like guests not all being able to turn up at such short notice just after all the food has been bought.)
5. Attempt to solve problems. (Call up other friends half an hour before the meal just in case they can make it.)
6. If problems overcomable, bask in knowledge that spontaneity has created an event not easily repeatable. (The four guests, though there’ve been last minute changes, get on very well.) If problems unsolvable, hide for a few days before another scheme occurs. (I can just imagine what would have happened if only two people could have made it, and subsequently got food poisoning, leaving me with large amounts of leftovers.)

On Wednesday I was cycling home from work when I got a text message sent a few hours before – “I’m going to London to stay over at Martin’s new flat, do you want to come?” If I was to go it would mean getting home, getting changed, and leaving pretty much straight away. I texted back saying “sure!” I had four hours sleep on Martin’s wooden floor (the two girls got the bed in the next room) before leaving with one of Martin’s pilot friends in the morning. Shooting down the motorway at ninety-five miles an hour a couple of hours later (there’s something in pilots that makes them think seventy miles an hour is far too slow), I reflected on whether what I’d done had been sensible.

The conclusion I came to was this: if I’d stopped and thought about whether the trip had been sensible, or indeed enquired about the sleeping facilities, I wouldn’t have gone – and I would have missed out. Spontaneity can be stupid, but sometimes it can give you experiences that you never would have had otherwise. The evening, however exhausted I came out of it, was fantastic. Jokes were made, laughs were had, food was eaten and (some) sleep was had, eventually. (The girls decided at midnight to watch American Pie in the room I wanted to sleep in.)

Somehow, my spontaneous decisions have just enough thought in them to come out alright – the dinner party being a brilliant example. As a result of that night, I’ve started a regular meeting of friends which should keep me sane in the coming weeks when all my friends are off at uni. Impulse buying is another matter however. (Two weeks or so after leaving school, I bought three A level text books because I wished I’d done those subjects for the past two years. I’ve opened one of them since and got stuck ten pages in.)

One of the questions I was asked at my recent interview (for the camera shop) was: “If your friends had to describe you in three words, what words would they be?” The first word that came to mind was “spontaneous”. Those of you who’ve seen a lot of me in recent years – would you have picked that word?

Pride and Prejudice

Posted at 1:53 PM

First off, read the book. I don’t care who you are, just read it if you haven’t already (or even if you have). Actually, don’t if you’re a bloke and under around fourteen/fifteen years old, as you’ll probably hate it. I know I would have.

Okay, now that’s done I’ll get started by talking about the BBC adaptation. It’s very well done, and is incredibly faithful to the book. Both Lizzy and Darcy are well portrayed, Mr Bennet is as sarcastic as he should be, and the only thing that grated slightly was the character of Mary. I saw this version for the first time about four days ago. It was a brilliant drama.

Last night I saw the new film, which is a lot shorter and so by necessity doesn’t include all of the nuances. However, I found myself enjoying it even more than the BBC adaptation in places, though I was very disappointed with Mr Bennet. Mary was much more believable, Lizzy was even more vivacious than in the BBC version and Darcy just slightly more human, I felt. They’d changed scenery around (so instead of a conversation being in the morning out in a garden, it takes place after midnight in a candle-lit drawing room) and adapted some of the speeches slightly, but a lot of the dialogue was straight out of the book (as in the BBC version). There were lots of little things they’d changed which I felt made the film work better as a whole. As a faithful adaptation of the book, it was reasonably good, but nowhere near as accurate as the BBC version. That said, I felt I liked it as a film in its own right. The BBC version put into pictures the book exactly. This version told the story in its own way and was all the better for it. You couldn’t have been completely faithful in two hours, so they didn’t try to be; they did however keep every essential aspect, and filled out the rest to make the film better as a whole. It worked superbly.

These are my initial feelings about the film, which will no doubt change (if only slightly) once I see it again. Has anyone else seen it, and if so what did you think?

At the job centre

Posted at 3:44 PM

Me: Hi, I have an appointment at nine thirty.

Security guard: Okay, can I have your book please?

M: (gets out book given at last meeting).

S: No, that’s not it – your book book. The book. The essential book of all power.

M: (remembers) Oh, that book… I’m not sure I’ve seen it recently. Is it that important?

S: (sighs with exasperation) Yes, it is, that has everything in it.

M: (thinks that the book he has with him must be useless if this is the case) So I can’t see anyone?

S: Oh, sit down, I’ll see what I can do.

Five minutes pass.

Advisor: Mr Weston?

M: Hi, I’m afraid I don’t have my book.

A: Sure you do, the security guard gave it to me. You don’t need anything else.

M: Okay. I’ve got a job by the way so I’d like to come off the Allowance.

A: Oh, why didn’t you say earlier? You don’t need any book if you want to do that!

Government administration sucks. Yesterday, approximately a week after received an Inland Revenue form saying “we know what jobs you’ve had, which is why we’re taxing you”, I received another form saying “we’ve no idea what jobs you’ve had, please let us know or we’ll have to tax you higher than we are already”. Not only should they know I have a job because they managed to send out the first form, if they’re taxing me already then they must realise I have some income coming in – and as everything is taxed at source (in other words, I only get paid the money after tax by my employer) they should know where I’m working and for what wage.

I also have to provide a birth certificate and passport to my employer to prove I’m eligible to work in this country. Seeing as both documents confirm me as a British citixen, this seems like overkill.

Forget civil liberties – if ID cards sort out this mess I’m all for them. However I’d estimate the chances of consigning red tape to the past with anything less than a complete government administrative reform from the ground up at around 100 to 1. Oh, and while they’re there, let’s bring in proportional representation too. This country really needs a fresh start. Come on, Lib Dems – how’s that for a new policy? (The money saved’ll probably allow you to scrap top-up fees and pay for those matching orange bodysuits you know your front bench team would look dashing in.)

Broken toe

Posted at 10:48 AM

One of the most undescribable feelings I have ever repeatedly experienced is that of waking up after injuring yourself in a dream. The transition from the awkward dream-pain of a broken toe, a burnt hand, a bleeding knee to a blissful nothingness – well, that’s the best I can do. It doesn’t describe it adequately.

Your turn now. Anyone ever experienced something (preferably more than once) that is just beyond words?

Job and other news

Posted at 8:07 PM

I’ve had it pointed out to me by no less than one person that I haven’t blogged in some time. I blame my new employer (not that it’s really their fault). In fact, I have three new employers and another possible employer, and I certainly don’t blame the two web design clients. The camera shop who have given me a job have had me working quite a few hours this week though, so I think it’s probably fair to say it’s my fault for agreeing to work for them. Luckily I’ve worked all the hours I’m doing this week, so Thursday and Friday are mainly for relaxing (and possibly writing).

Working in a camera shop is fun. Today I sold my first digital SLR and learnt about profit margins (I have to sell lots of accessories with cameras or head office shouts at my boss, basically). I also managed to explain to two Swiss tourists with not much English that in the UK we generally pay for processing, development and prints all in one price, and it’s very rare just to ask for negatives.

My boss is great – he told me in a very chatty way that he never shouts at his staff as he’s sure they work better if they get on well with him and respect him. (No, that wasn’t a sly way to get me to work harder.)

I now have a reading list for the next few weeks:

• A Clockwork Orange
• Catch 22
• The Wasp Factory
• The Importance of Being Earnest
• The Silmarillion (again)

I just finished reading Flowers for Algernon, which if you’re into psychological novels with a hint of science fiction you should read as soon as possible. I really should set up an Amazon Associate account just in case you readers buy something…

Currently listening to some famous piece of classical music I can’t place

Quotes that just came into my head

Posted at 11:56 AM

• “Who da man? I da man. I always suspected.” – Dr Gregory House
• “I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. ” – Groucho Marx
• “Eagles may soar high, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” – David Brent
• “It’s like goldy and bronzy, only it’s made of iron.” – Baldrick on irony
• “You’re lucky we’re not in America, or your sense of humour could get us arrested.” – my mum, to me

The fourth miscellany

Posted at 6:35 PM

First off, I’d like to announce that I have fixed the bug which prevents Safari users from seeing this design. I say I’ve fixed the bug, when in reality I think it’s a Safari bug to do with CSS comments.

It came down to a comment in the h1 definition, which prevented any of the CSS rules after it from applying. All I had to do was change the comment:

// This comment here is what it used to look like
/* This comment here is what it now looks like */

I’d like to thank Jonathan (known as Mr E in the comments) for letting me use his new Powerbook to fix this problem – otherwise it probably wouldn’t have been fixed for another year or so.

I also bring news that my pineapple cutting advice has already been useful, as searches for “cut a pineapple” and “how to cut a pineapple” have both turned up that entry. As for those searching for “single women in shepton mallet”, I apologise for having been no help (merely commenting that, during the summer, there are many).

What else can I add to this fourth miscellany? Only that, last time I went to Wikipedia’s page on the Pope, it was different.

Hmm, food

Posted at 2:45 PM

I should really drop the whole cooking thing now. The Miscellaneous category has never seen so much that is edible.

I could get a job in a photography store! (Let’s hope they don’t see last entry’s photo, it’s appalling.)